Friday, November 12, 2010

November is National Adoption Month

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that November is National Adoption Month and although this year the focus is on children and youth in foster care adoption, whether open or closed, domestic or international, boy or girl is the greatest sense of love you will ever experience. I will never forget the day Phil suggested we look into adoption; we were in the midst of infertility hell and I looked at him as though he was crazy, joking to lighten the mood or, had simply given up? Man was I wrong! A close friend of his was in a similar situation and suggested that since it take YEARS to adopt, that we should at least start the process with the hope of someday maybe getting a baby. Well, after the initial shock and a lot of “oh shit we’re doing this,” we jumped in full throttle from creating our adoption album book to interviewing agencies to well, there wasn’t much more to…after that because what happened next was a miracle. Within a week of meeting the attorney we chose to hire and giving her our book, I got THE phone call. Sitting in my office one day completely oblivious to how my world was about to change and preparing for years of disappointment, I took the call.
Jacob came into our lives 3 short months later and while I write this and wipe the tears, I think back to the moment I saw him and fell in love realizing that I don’t have to give birth to be a mother and to love so deeply. He has been the single greatest accomplishment of my life. Who would I be without him; what kind of woman/wife/person/mother? This little man who is my buddy, my world and my greatest joy has changed my life. He’s a part of me like no biological child could ever be. So much so that I often forget that he was adopted. What I NEVER forget is how lucky I am to have him, how lucky we were to have been chosen for him and how different and empty life would be without him.  We even have the same taste in magazines (-:

When I hear friends, young and old, talk about their plans for a family and how they will start trying in this month so they can have a baby in that month I get so frustrated. Mostly, because that was me. I had a plan, in fact, many plans and most have gone in the opposite direction. The direction that has led me to where I am today which is the luckiest, happiest person in the world all because Phil wasn’t afraid, I was terrified and together we came together to create the family we always wanted.
So, if I can tell you one thing that I’ve learned is that life doesn’t go according to plan and if it does, you’ve done something wrong. If you always get what you want when you want it and how, you will never appreciate what you have. There are no “Life Plans”, no magic ball that’s going to predict how things will turn out but that’s cool…even great! It’s the challenges you experience along the way that get you to where you need to be. Had I known then what I know now, well…I wouldn’t do anything differently except tell more people about our experience with adoption and while I admit we got extremely lucky…Karma baby, if you’re struggling with a decision like adoption merely because of what others will think or, it’s just not in your plan, you’ve got to ask yourself one question, what do you ultimately want? If it’s a family, then that’s your answer so jump in. It will be the scariest and most gratifying experience of your life and then, your life will change forever and…in a great way!

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