Tuesday, October 18, 2011

It occurred to me last night

as I stood surrounded by hundreds of other adoptive parents, that I don’t talk enough about being an adoptive parent.  Not nearly as much as I talk about Jacob who, I talk about all the time and with anyone who is willing to listen.  
Phil and I often say that we’re probably just plain annoying about how much we "Jacob this" and "Jacob that" and all the great things that he says and does.  But is that wrong?  To be proud and overjoyed about a gift that is so priceless, so precious that no money can buy?  Well, last night I was reminded that money does buy it and it is expensive which is why http://helpusadopt.org/ was established and is thriving today.
A room full of people some who have never met each other but who, from the second they stepped into that room at Fleming's, had so much in common that there was no need for formalities or uncomfortable conversation starters.  Well, there was a conversation starter and in that room it was adoption and you know what?  IT felt comfortable, almost soothing and, altogether pretty amazing!  To describe our adoption process to a complete stranger who is nodding not because their mind is wandering off to the nearest bar but, because they are remembering and they get it because they too experienced it.
No two experiences are identical but they all have something in common; People who desperately wanted a child to love and share their lives with but were denied for one reason or another.  Clomid, IVF, Infertility, Birth Mother, you heard those words all around the room and not being whispered but being talked about openly and honestly like badges of courage. All while realizing just how lucky we all were to be there and able to talk about it.  It reminded me of one of the many Open Houses that Phil and I attended where a couple was bouncing a toddler on their lap speaking to the desperate crowd of adoption-wanna-be's about how it took them 5 years to adopt.  Yeah, that’s encouraging we thought at the time. 
Well, our story is one out of an adoption fairy tale and I know that they hardly EVER happen that way which is probably why I don’t talk much about it unless asked that is.  Also, just to put it out there, why we are one and done.  Would you mess with fate, not me!?
So there I was, surrounded by people who got me and my obsession with the boy. And then the speeches started and jarred me into consciousness.  First Becky, the founder of helpusadopt.org and the http://www.aninfertileblonde.com/ blog introduced the charity and spoke of her and her husband Kipps journey to adoption.  Followed by David Pernock who I happen to know from my days at GSK but never knew had adopted…small world.  David and his wife have two adopted children and so after he spoke about his experience, he introduced us to a couple who have been waiting to adopt for nearly a decade.  They couldn’t afford adoption and turned to foster care that too, had failed them.  Five minutes later, the room had raised close to $14,000 to help this family and I stood in awe witness to what can be accomplished when you get the right people with a common mission and passion together. Wow, imagine what we can achieve if we ALL worked together.
I had a few glasses of wine; this was after all a winetasting. 
Won a pair of monogrammed Wellies; this was after all a silent auction and I never walk away from an opportunity to shop.
And then I hurried home so that I could plant kisses all over my most precious gift, my son Jacob who I hope one day realizes just how much he was wanted...
how much he is loved...
and, never has to learn how hard we tried to bring him into our life!


  1. Great post!

    No! It is NEVER wrong to say "My child said this" or "my child did that"!!! Great that you both do! If some people are tired of you saying that... well... And I could see the other night how both of you lit up when you were talking about Jacob! :-) And I enjoy reading when you post about him, like when he had his cookie/lemonade stand or when he made two rewards for the price of one tooth from tooth fairy! ;-) So, keep on writing, and we'll keep reading. :-))

  2. as I am reading, my tears are running nonstop, my tears of joy, of pride to be Jacob's Baba YaYa and your mother. to be so lucky. to be able to ask him: "who is my best boy ever?" and hear his happy instant reply:"I am!" Yes you are my little Prince!

  3. He is the best boy ever and LOVES his Baba Yaya!


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